When we are young, everything is relatively new. Temperature, light, sound, touch, current, frequency, energy. They are all being discovered in our early years. Later on, comes more and more forces in form of emotions, feelings and mood. Desire, peace, love, engry, frustration, tiredness. At some point All of our receptores that work constantly in full capacity all the time, causes our control system, to overload. We collapse. We build confidence and then it is questioned. We allow a certain freedoms but at some point it is denied.
Every collapse triggers a new set of calibration. Those adjustments sometimes filter or tune our reactions to the outside forces. Preferably, it happens due to logical set of assumptions and conclusions that led us to believe that’s the “right” way. Sometimes it happens naturally. Over time, some experiences just seem to land on its natural place in our minds. Other time we have other forces sculpture our perception. Society, school, family, traditions, religion, fashion are all examples of outside calibrators. They adjust our receptores to the outside forces, guiding us through the calibration process. Ideally, they represent our summed up knowledge as a humankind. Some thumb rules of do’s and don’ts.
I’ve learned, All those guidelines, can get me only so much. Beyond that, I’m on my own. How to maintain a prosperous relationship? How to raise my kids? What is the right way to resolve arguments? eventually, what is the right choice in any given situation. Some choices have consequences over years to come. A simple choice I make as a teenager has ongoing impact over many years. Like ripples. They echos and come back to me like ricochet.
Moreover, our summed up knowledge may contradict itself in different aspects of our lives. Everyday some new theory reveals the proper way for… something. So much theories we have, more than the observable stars. Opinions even more.
But when I make a choice that will ripple back to me through life, I need it to suit me at the time of the ricochet. So how do I make that choice?
That is the point when I wake up from my numbness. I need more than thumb rules to make a meaningful choice. All those calibrations over the years numbed me to believe that a path is already written, even for me.
So I wake myself up.